I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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