K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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