dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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