i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Found the puke drawer
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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