Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
