your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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