You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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