Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize