she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
