3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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