How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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