Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
