I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
