Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
