new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
