So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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