im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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