she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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