NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
