So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
