dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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