Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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