Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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