I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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