so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we're making bets on your personal life
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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