Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
