porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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