my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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