he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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