you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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