You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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