Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
