In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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