I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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