im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
