i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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