I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you traded sex for a burrito?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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