A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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