she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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