sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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