I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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