everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
