I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
