Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
