we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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