at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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