angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
