I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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