they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
