i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
