Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I smell like Dick and happiness
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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