were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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