i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so let's talk penis.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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