I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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